How to heal from Childhood Trauma

In this post, you will learn some information that can help you determine where to go with your healing process. 

Self-Care

As a child, you probably didn’t know how to soothe yourself, because you needed your caregivers for that, you needed them to model coping skills for you. Now as an adult, you can learn new tools and strategies that work for you, so you can self-regulate. Now, you are your own parent and only you know what works for you and what doesn’t. Examples of coping skills that you can try with your inner child are playing an instrument, painting, meditating, going for a walk, being outside, feeling the wind on your face, deep breathing, holding a teddy bear, wearing comfortable clothes, drinking some warm tea, eating healthy meals, exercising 20 minutes daily and much more. I encourage you to pick one or two coping skills and practice them for a week and see how you feel.

Individual Therapy

Individual Therapy can be extremely helpful in healing childhood trauma because you have a professional helping you to regulate your nervous system, navigate your emotions, build a connection, and have a structured process or a plan for how to heal those wounds. The therapist's attunement is one of the most important keys to successful treatment because we can build any foundation of trauma work with trust and connection. I have found that EMDR -Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing- can be very efficient for trauma, I have witnessed so much healing with myself and a lot of my clients over the years. Inner child work can also be fantastic for healing since we facilitate a deeper connection between your adult self and your little kid (present and past), this process can enhance compassion and compassion heals. Parts work or Ego States can be similar to inner child healing, as you integrate all the parts of your system within you, you become more accepting and in charge of your life. Of course, I have lots to say about this one!

Group Therapy

A lot of healing happens in groups, it helps you to get out of isolation, see new perspectives, and feel that you are not alone. Group therapy can be vulnerable because you are exposing yourself and sharing your feelings (if you want to), but simply just by being with the group, can bring some sense of belonging, community, and shared humanity. Empathy connects, and vulnerability connects. Growing up in an abusive household can be isolating and the idea of joining a group can be scary, but a healthy community can help you see yourself and things differently.

Healthy Support System

As I mentioned above, group therapy can be helpful for folks struggling with isolation and loneliness which could be a result of childhood trauma, and I would like to add that having a healthy support system can make a huge difference in the healing process. Maybe you can find those people in group therapy sessions or support groups. Maybe that can be one or two friends that cherish and support you. A good support system consists of reliability, empathy, cherishing one another, presence, encouragement, and healthy perspectives. You can find this kind of support in AA or AL-ANON meetings, ACA meetings for adult children of alcoholics or dysfunctional families, or CoDa Codependent Anonymous.

Re-Parenting

When you connect with your inner child, you start witnessing their pain, their wounds, their wants, their needs, their dislikes but also their likes, their talents, and their joy. I encourage you to connect with your inner child once a day, you can start by telling them “Hi my name is John, I come from the future, I am here now, you`re not alone”. I highly recommend the book Affirmations for your inner child by Rokelle Lerner, she brings daily reflections that can facilitate self-reparenting. Ask yourself, what can I give to my inner child that I didn`t receive from my parents growing up?

Creative Expression

Speaking of the inner child, when you connect with your little parts, you actually start finding out more about your gifts, your creativity, your innocence, and your likes. Through creative expressions such as arts, music, writing, dance, and movement, you allow yourself to speak the words you couldn’t, you allow yourself to express it through painting, singing, or poetry. You don’t have to make any sense in your expression, you just have to release and be vulnerable. This process is for you, not for anybody else.  This is a chance to express when your 3-year-old couldn`t use their words to speak, or when your 5-year-old wasn`t allowed to express their feelings at all.

Willingness to Heal

The most important step to start any kind of healing work is the willingness to do it. Imagine you have to clean your closet and it’s dark and disorganized. What is the first thing you need to do to clean it? Turn on the light? Start taking the clothes one by one out of it? No. The first thing you need to do is to have the willingness and the courage to look at it, to address it, to clean it. Then, you can take your stuff out and do a deep cleaning. It’s going to feel overwhelming and exhausting. You will feel defeated just by looking at the pile of clothes. However, your willingness will keep driving the bus from the beginning to the end. After that, you decide what you want to donate and what you want to keep in the closet. But again, willingness will drive you far if you allow it.

Conclusion

There are many options that we can choose from to work on trauma, and it is possible to give yourself the gift of healing. If you want structured sessions and professional help with finishing business with your past and healing childhood trauma, feel free to contact me for a 20-minute consultation call or book an appointment to see how I might be able to help you.