4 Childhood Trauma Triggers in Adults

In this post, you will identify 4 childhood trauma triggers that might be affecting your present, in the next post you will learn how to deal with them.

Rejection

Do you know when you feel invisible, not seen or appreciated in a group of people, a circle of friends, or family? Or when you feel rejected by your partner because they didn’t pick up the phone or simply because they don’t want to be with you anymore and they decide to break up. Rejection can be hurtful, it might remind you of how your parents rejected your feelings growing up, when they weren’t there for you, when they left, when they were absent, or when they preferred another sibling or somebody else but you.

Narcissism

Of course, narcissistic parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, bosses, etc. can be a trigger and someone with traits of narcissism as well. Narcissism might remind you of an inconsiderate parent growing up, a self-centered parent who either focused a lot on themselves and you were just in the background, or a rejecting and uninvolved parent. Nowadays, that person with narcissistic traits being inconsiderate might remind you of that self-absorbed parent growing up and that can activate past abandonment, anger and trauma responses. 

Violation of boundaries

Growing up, if you were violated physically, sexually, and emotionally over and over you might tend to develop triggers related to not having enough privacy, not having your own identity, and not being able to speak up, therefore, you feel angry. Anger is a sign; it tells us something. If your boundaries are crossed you feel angry and it’s important to listen to it, so we know what to do with it, instead of acting on it. Growing up, if you did not have your own space, if your parents had an agenda for you if you were constantly controlled and manipulated, it means that you were not allowed to have boundaries and you couldn`t be yourself fully. Of course, parents MUST have boundaries with their children, it’s healthy and imperative, what I am saying is that if parents tend to be extremely authoritarian, hypercritical, and helicopter parents, then it’s something to look at.

Abandonment

The sensation of abandonment can be cruel, it feels like a punch in the gut or a sensation of emptiness. As a child, you probably felt this way over and over. Maybe a parent left or did not attend to your needs and feelings. Maybe a parent left you alone for hours or days. For example, when a child is forgotten at school, chances are that this child will internalize that they are not important, they are invisible, therefore they are unlovable. Kids tend to internalize and take things personally because that’s what their brains are wired for, it’s a healthy narcissism.

Conclusion

These are just some triggers; in the next blog post I will teach you how to deal with them. If you want structured sessions and professional help with healing childhood trauma, feel free to contact me for a 20-minute consultation call or book an appointment to see how I might be able to help you.